Funny Marriage Quotes
Browse 263 quotes about Funny Marriage.
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Funny Marriage Quotes
“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
“A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.”
“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.”
“Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.”
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
“Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.”
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.”
“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.”
“The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.”
“Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.”
“Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.”
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”
“Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.”
“Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty one is a menace to the community.”
“When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.”
“And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate.”
“My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.”
“Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.”
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.”