Quotessence
Home / Topics / Funny Marriage Quotes

Funny Marriage Quotes

Browse 263 quotes about Funny Marriage.

Related topics

Funny Marriage Quotes

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

“When we first got married, we made a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions. For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement. I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage. However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn’t been one big decision.”

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”

“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”

“My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.”

“I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.”

“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.”

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”