“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
Witty Quotes
Browse 1991 quotes about Witty.
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Witty Quotes
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
Source: Atlas Shrugged
“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.”
“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”
“Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.”
Source: Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin
Source: Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin
“Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”
Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose
“In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.”
“If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.”
Source: Woody Allen: Interviews
“Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.”
“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.”
“When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.”
“Sacred cows make the best hamburger.”
Source: Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist
“The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit.”
“Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?”
“Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago.”
“Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past.”
“I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.”
“Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.”
“As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling.”
Source: Turkish Embassy Letters
Source: Bob Hope
“Ugliness is better than beauty. It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all.”
“Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.”
“Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.”
Source: Every Dog Should Have a Man: The Care and Feeding of Dog's Best Friend
“In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead.”
“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.”
“No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.”
“I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.”
“Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.”
“I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!”