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Witty Quotes

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Witty Quotes

“Our Dome is the bottom of the barrel in the Mega City," Asterion said. "The Deep, it's beneath the bottom. Patrols don't even come down yonder no more. This here is where the forgotten live." "That's pretty deep from a guy that talks as funny as you do." I said quietly. "It's not polite to make fun of a man's drawl," he said. I nodded. "You've told me that before too," I said. I still got no idea what 'drawl' even means and have never heard anyone else say it. I'm thinking you made it up." Asterion shook his head. "Y'all never heard of Texas either," he said. "Goes to show what you know." I grinned. "That sounds made up too." He shook his head in disgust. "Don't make no different anyhow," he said, as much to himself as to me. "They say half of it is underwater now anyway.”

ActionFutureWittyResistanceSci FiDystopiaPrivate Investigator
Book:Short Tales from Earth's Final Chapter: Book 4
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“Cowards say it can't be done, critics say it shouldn't have been done, creator say well done.”

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Book:Wealth of Words
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“The requirement for anyone running for elected office to have held a position of public service, such as fireman, school teacher, librarian, scout leader, or policeman was never actually passed into law. Still the range of day jobs that some of our Congress people now hold are pretty amazing. Somehow these days a background as a lawyer is a big minus.”

HistoryHumourDiscoveryWittyServiceSatireHistorical FictionAmerican HistoryWomen In Politics
Book:The Most Popular President Who Ever Lived [So Far]
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“Passing through the early fog, the fruitseller’s boat nudged the edge of the canal beside the Palazzo Malipiero. All around was stillness. Casanova whispered to me, “This is the type of pause that occurs just in the instant before la petite mort. The breath held before the gasp followed by the exquisite release.”

HistoryHumourWittyHistorical FictionFiction NovelSatiricalMemoirs
Book:Casanova and the Devil's Doorbell
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“Why was I the Most Popular President Who Ever Lived? I castrated the IRS, implemented the National Sales Tax (Fair Tax) and brought an end to parasitic government - all through the use of numbers, statistics. business metrics, graphs, pie charts, efficiency - in short - results.”

AmericaFictionHistoryHumourDiscoveryWittySatireHistorical FictionAmerican HistorySatirical
Book:The Most Popular President Who Ever Lived [So Far]
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“Season's Bleatings by Stewart Stafford I'm looking forward to Christmas, As Nostradamus dreaded prophecy, In place of war, famine, apocalypse, I see spending, coveting and family. Wandering through warm déjà vu, In new ways with usual-faced folk, Fat in an absent winter wonderland, Goodwill to all men as you go broke. A fever dream or a deep turkey coma? St. Nicholas dripping presents around? An eviction notice to vacate sobriety, Consumerism and consumption unbound. © Stewart Stafford, 2023. All rights reserved.”

HumorFunnyHumourWittyChristmasXmasChristmas DinnerChristmas PoemChristmas PoetrySeason S Greetings
Author:Stewart Stafford
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“Dear Mr. Right People say you don't exist. Yes, I agree no one is perfect but people can be right with all the imperfections and flaws. Can't they? So, You must know that I do believe in you. I do believe somewhere out there you do exist. Yesterday my friend told me that you aren't riding a White horse but the tortoise that is why you are taking eons to reach me. But that's okay with me, I don't have any preference for your choice of a commute as long as you are using Google Maps with me as your destination. You must have detoured a lot. Hope you had fun but now it's time we start our own adventure. So, reach soon. Yours Forever”

Love QuotesForeverWittyLove QuoteLetterLove LetterWitty QuotesMr RightGoogle MapsOpen Letter
Author:Ankita Singhal
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“The mummy felt betrayed, like when a spouse agrees on a movie you decided to watch only to put on a different movie as you go to the bathroom, having to sit through the whole movie and not argue about it because it’s not worth fighting over, just boiling up inside and remembering it for later when they want their coffee with half-and-half, knowing that you put 2-percent milk in there and they won’t know, but you will.”

HumorFunnyWittyBetrayalRevengeCleverAbsurdSpouseBetrayedSignificant Other
Book:The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats
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“The first and last weakness of his life, before him again. For a moment he felt himself blinded by his own memories; his own remembrances of the wits and wiles of Marian Halcombe that would steal into his thoughts; the sound of her laughter at his outrageous tales, the shadowed glance of distrust, the way her eyebrows would raise ever so slightly despite her resolution to seem disinterested in his foreign insights. She was the first woman he ventured to have complete equality in matching his tremendous cleverness.”

LifeStoriesSoundMemoriesEqualLaughterThoughtsWeaknessMemoryWittyInsightCleverTalesDespiteResolutionRemembranceGlancesDistrustEyebrowsClevernessBlindedRememberingMatchingDisinterestedResolutionsInsightsForeignMatchWitsRemembrancesWilesWily
Book:The woman in white
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“With discipline, you can lose weight, you can excel in work, you can win the war.”

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Book:Wealth of Words
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“Creativity without discipline will struggle, creativity with discipline will succeed.”

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Book:Wealth of Words
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“Fail soon so that you can succeed sooner.”

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Book:Wealth of Words
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“Today it is cheaper to start a business than tomorrow.”

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Book:Wealth of Words
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“He waved a hand. 'Never mind. It doesn't matter. Perhaps I did look guilty there for a while. In any event, it was interesting being the prime suspect for a moment or two.' 'If only we'd confided in one another,' I said. 'But we've never been very good at that, have we?' 'It could be worse. At least you've never tried to drown me in my bathtub.' I let out a sound that was some cross between a laugh and a sigh. 'Do be serious, Milo.”

HumorWittyDialogueMurder MysteryBanterAmory AmesAshley WeaverMilo AmesMurder At The Brightwell
Book:Murder at the Brightwell
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“You write poetry?" Klaus asked. He had read a lot about poets but had never met one. "Just a little bit," Isadora said modestly. "I write poems down in this notebook. It's an interest of mine." "Sappho!" Sunny shrieked, which meant something like, "I'd be very pleased to hear a poem of yours!”

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Book:The Austere Academy
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“If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man." "Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart.”

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Book:The Austere Academy
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