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Famous Groucho Marx Quotes
“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.”
“I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!”
“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”
“She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.”
“Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!”
“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”
“You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.”
“Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)”
“My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.”
“Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.”
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.”
“I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
“The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.”
“Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.”
“Home is where you hang your head.”
“No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.”
“How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.”