“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Funny Inspirational Quotes
Browse 452 quotes about Funny Inspirational.
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Funny Inspirational Quotes
“Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.”
“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.”
Source: Enjoyment of Laughter
“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.”
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”
“When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.”
“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.”
Source: Please Don't Eat the Daisies
“They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.”
“You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.”
Source: A Heap o' Living'
“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
Source: Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist
“It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.”
“When you're riding, only the race in which you're riding is important.”
“Free your mind and your ass will follow”
Source: Brothas Be, Yo Like George, Ain't That Funkin' Kinda Hard On You?: A Memoir
“The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”
“I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.”
Source: The Strength In Us All
“There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.”
Source: Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist
“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.”
“Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.”
Source: The Law of Success: The Master Wealth-Builder's Complete and Original Lesson Plan forAchieving Your Dreams
“Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.”
“It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.”
“It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.”
“I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose.”
“The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.”
Source: Mencken Chrestomathy
“I make more mistakes than anyone else I know, and sooner or later, I patent most of them.”
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”