Funny Inspirational Quotes
Browse 452 quotes about Funny Inspirational.
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Funny Inspirational Quotes
“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.”
“People have to follow their hearts, and if their hearts lead them to Wal-Mart, so be it.”
“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.”
“Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.”
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
“I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.”
“You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.”
“Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.”
“I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”
“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.”
“I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”
“The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.”
“You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.”
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
“There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.”
“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”
“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.”
“Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.”
“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”
“The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.”
“Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”
“If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.”
“I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.”
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”
“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.”
“I have great faith in fools,— self-confidence my friends will call it.”