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Funny Inspirational Quotes

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Funny Inspirational Quotes

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

“Victory belongs to the most persevering.”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

“It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

“The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.”

“Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.”

“Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.”

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”

“The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes.”