Funny Inspirational Quotes
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Funny Inspirational Quotes
“I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?”
“I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.”
“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”
“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
“There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.”
“Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?”
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
“The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.”
“I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.”
“All things come to those who wait.”
“Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?”
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”
“Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.”
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”
“The entrepreneur always searches for change, responds to it, and exploits it as an opportunity.”
“Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed.”
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.”
“Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.”
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't make them all yourself.”
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
“Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.”
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
“If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it.”
“Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.”