“If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.”
Humorous Quotes
Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.
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Humorous Quotes
“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”
“A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can.”
“People are your most valuable asset. Only people can be made to appreciate in value.”
“History is written by the victors.”
Source: Proceedings of the International Churchill Societies 1992-1993
“In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.”
“Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.”
“Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.”
Source: Moral Essays on Some of the Most Curious and Significant English, Scotch, and Foreign Proverbs
“You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.”
“Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.”
“At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass”
Source: Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations
“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.”
Source: The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill
“You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.”
“A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.”
“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”
“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”
Source: Refactoring: Ruby Edition
“Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.”
Source: Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin
“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
“You don’t need to be a completely complete human right now … That’s what makes you human.”
“When you are dealing with a child, keep all your wits about you, and sit on the floor.”
“The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.”
Source: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.”
Source: Discourse on the Method: Discourse On the Method of Rightly Conducting the Reason, and Seeking Truth In the Sciences (Beloved Books Edition)
“If you share a good idea long enough, it will eventually fall on good people.”
“If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.”
“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”