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Humour Quotes

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Humour Quotes

“Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.”

“The only real reason that some relationships and marriages have not yet been ended is because in each case one of the partners has not yet found their ideal partner or someone they love or at least like.”

“To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.”

“One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.”

“Being HIV positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to die before each and every person who is HIV negative.”

“Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.”

“Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.”

“Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.”

“Yo Mama’s so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, “Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!”

“Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.”

“Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.”

“Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!”

“Chuck Norris CAN understand women.”

“If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.”

“Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.”

“What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747? -About 20 pounds. -Yo mama carries more passengers. -Not everyone's been on a 747.”

“We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.”

“Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl.”

“We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.”

“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.”

“Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.”

“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.”