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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.”

Ifs Knows Men May Funny Women Marriage Fool Married Humorous Witty Anniversary Cocky

Book:A little book in C major

Source: A little book in C major

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.”

“He who hesitates is a damned fool.”

Funny Fool Humorous Drinking Witty Procrastination

Author:Mae West

“There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.”

“The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.”

Ifs Writing May Book Funny Realizing Trouble Fool Honor Humorous Witty Dirty Liars About Yourself Thieves Autobiography Writing A Book Deviation Finland Honor Among Thieves

Book:Groucho And Me

Source: Groucho And Me

“I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.”

Writing Book Hands Funny Politics Dangerous Fool Drink Weapons Humorous Witty Favors Beer Sarcastic Foolishness Typewriters

Author:David Gerrold

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

Humor Funny Three Four Fool Humorous Hundred Sixty Funny Inspirational April Pranks Fools And Foolishness April Fools Day April Fools Fools Day Funny April Fools Day Funny April Fools

Author:Mark Twain

“The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.”

“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.”

“The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.”

“Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.”

Men Life Inspirational Motivational Success Wise Positive Fool Humorous Witty Classic Repeats

Book:Moral Essays on Some of the Most Curious and Significant English, Scotch, and Foreign Proverbs

Source: Moral Essays on Some of the Most Curious and Significant English, Scotch, and Foreign Proverbs

“I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.”

Ifs Two Sometimes Wonder Fool Humorous Tests Items Funny Inspirational Pranks Payroll April Fools Day April Fools Fools Day Foolproof Funny April Fools Day Funny April Fools Fool Proof

Author:Alan Coren

“I wonder whether if I had an education I should have been more or less a fool that I am.”

Ifs Should Has Beens Education Wonder Learning Stupid Fool Humorous Should Have Intelligence Educational Should Have Been Unschooling

Author:Alice James

“There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't.”

Ifs Men Humor Happens Funny Fool Drink Humorous Wine Drinking Alcohol Damn Fifty Whiskey Liquor Booze

Author:William Faulkner

“A fool must now and then be right, by chance”

Truth Chance Fool Intellectual Humorous Intelligence Folly Statistics Now And Then Fools And Wise

Author:William Cowper

“Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.”

Source: Refactoring: Ruby Edition

“A cigar has "...a fire at one end and a fool at the other."”

“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”

“Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.”