“My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.”
Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”
“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
Source: Dear George: advice & answers from America's leading expert on everything from A to B
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.”
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT”
Source: Fifth Grave Past the Light
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
“People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.”