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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“The brand is lying about something, or at least misrepresenting it. When I read a bottle of shampoo or moisturizer or other beauty product, I always perceive a dark subtext. The words haunt me. It comes across as humorous to the reader/audience, but in fact the words really do make me a little bit queasy. Nothing is as easy or natural as consumer brands want us to think - no problem is as resolvable. Your hair will fall out, eventually. Yet we do have these brands, and we line our shelves with them. There's an inherent irony.”

ThinkingWantLittlesFactsProblemLyingFallEasyBitsNaturalLinesDarkAudienceProductsHairReaderLittle BitHumorousBrandsConsumersPerceiveIronyBottlesInherentShelvesNo ProblemWant UShampooSubtextBeauty Products
Author:Aaron Belz
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“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

IfsBookLyingDrinkHumorousDrinkingAlcoholCleverDrunkBeerSoberAlcoholismHolding OnDrankDrunkennessDrugs And AlcoholDrinking AlcoholDrinkersFunny DrinkingBeer DrinkingDrinking BeerGreat DrinkingFunny AlcoholAlcohol DrinkingDrinking FunnyPintsBartenderGreat AlcoholDrinking WineFunny BeerBrewing BeerAlcohol And LifeFunny Beer DrinkingGreat BeerBeer DrinkersCraft BeerBars DrinkingSmoking And DrinkingShots DrinkingAlcoholism FunnyShort BeerShort DrinkingCollege DrinkingDrinking CheersDrinking PartyFunny BarBartendingDrinking With FriendsLying On The FloorRat Pack
Author:Dean Martin
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“Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer of womankind, as you are aware, Watson, but my experience of life has taught me that there are few wives having any regard for their husbands who would let any man's spoken word stand between them and that husband's dead body. Should I ever marry, Watson, I should hope to inspire my wife with some feeling which would prevent her from being walked off by a housekeeper when my corpse was lying within a few yards of her.”

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Book:The Complete Sherlock Holmes: All 56 Stories & 4 Novels
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“Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.”

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Book:The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig
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