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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.”

Source: Selected Poems of Anne Sexton

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”

Source: Real Frank Zappa Book

“When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.”

Years I Can Home Humor Used Found Fun Half Humorous Winter Average Warm Oil Beer Quantity Beer Drinking Drinking Beer Gallons Brewing Funny Beer Brewing Beer Brewers Light Beer

Author:Dave Barry

“Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.”

Doe Mystery Elements Humorous Beer Brewing Funny Beer Brewing Beer

Author:Fritz Maytag

“You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.”

“Beer is a wholesome liquor.....it abounds with nourishment”

Humorous Beer Liquor Nourishment Brewing Funny Beer Brewing Beer Beer Drinkers

Author:Benjamin Rush

“We're wanted men, we'll strike again, but first let's have a beer.”

Men Firsts Wanted Humorous Strikes Beer Brewing Brewing Beer

Author:Jimmy Buffett

“All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.”

Nations Humorous Drinking Beer Rays Beer Drinking Drinking Beer Brewing Brewing Beer Brewers

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

“They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on the label. It is a crime.”

Crime Fine Humorous Labels Beer Fart Brewing Trademarks Brewing Beer Miller Lite

Author:Michael Jackson

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.”

“You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer, good cigars, and ancient whiskey - the sacred incense of the drinking man.”