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Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes
“Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.”
“Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.”
“There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.”
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
“There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”
“Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.”
“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
“Children make your life important.”
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”