Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes
“Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.”
“Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.”
“That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.”
“I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.”
“Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.”
“I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.”
“When Guante started, they thought he'd be like popcorn, one of the most popular things around.”
“Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.”
“DeShaies is like a clock out there. Every other pitch goes one way or the other.”
“Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.”
“I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.”
“Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.”
“If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did.”
“On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo.”
“Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.”
“Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.”
“That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.”
“Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.”
“You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.”
“Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.”
“From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.”
“Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.”
“There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.”
“Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.”