“That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.”
Funny Quotes
Browse 13923 quotes about Funny.
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Funny Quotes
“Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.”
“That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.”
“When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool.”
“This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.”
“I'll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I'll go, 'Wow, he's really not a very good actor!'”
“Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.”
“Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.”
“Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?”
Source: Ranting Again
“Don't write about what you don't know even if you don't know it.”
“Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.”
Source: The Will Rogers scrapbook
“Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.”
“The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.”
“The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.”
Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose
“Someone's been mean to you! Tell me who it is, so I can punch him tastefully.”
“I find this corpse guilty of carrying a concealed weapon and I fine it $40.”
“Right now I feel that I've got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.”