“By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.”
Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes
“If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.”
“You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!”
“If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.”
“I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.”
“There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.”
“An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.”
“I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.”
“Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.”
“My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.”
“I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.”
“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."”
“I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"”
“Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?”
“I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.”