“Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”
Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes
“Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.”
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
Source: Dear George: advice & answers from America's leading expert on everything from A to B
Source: Wisdom of the 90s
“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”
“Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!”
“The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.”
Source: Woody Allen: Interviews
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
“When people are laughing, they're generally not killing one another.”
“You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.”
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.”
“Two wrongs don't make a right.”
Source: The GFG: The Guid Freendly Giant: The BFG in Scots
“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”
Source: Deconstructing Harry
“It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.”
Source: The wit and wisdom of Mae West
“Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.”
Source: The wit and wisdom of Mae West
“There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.”
“I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.”
“Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)”
Source: Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover
Source: Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover
Source: Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover
“My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.”
Source: Great Expectations Thrift Study Edition
“Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.”
Source: The Marx Bros. Scrapbook
Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose
“For every book you buy, you should buy the time to read it.”
“You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no life whatsoever.”
“All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.”
Source: All I Want is a Warm Bed and a Kind Word and Unlimited Power: Even More Brilliant Thoughts
“What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.”