“When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.”
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Famous George Burns Quotes
“Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.”
Source: Wisdom of the 90s
“I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.”
Source: Dr. Burns' prescription for happiness
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”
Source: All my best friends
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
Source: Dear George: advice & answers from America's leading expert on everything from A to B
Source: Wisdom of the 90s
“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”
Source: How to live to be 100--or more: the ultimate diet, sex, and exercise book
“Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”
Source: How to live to be 100--or more: the ultimate diet, sex, and exercise book
“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
Source: The Most of George Burns
“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”
“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”
“If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.”
“This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.”
Source: Dear George
Source: The Most of George Burns
“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.”
“Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.”
“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.”
Source: Gracie/Caeser Spec Ed
“I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.”
“If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.”
“Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.”