“I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.”
Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes
“Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.”
“But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"”
“Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.”
“It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.”
“I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine”
“There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.”
“Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.”
“Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.”
“Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.”
“My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.”
“The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.”
“The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.”
“And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.”