“Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.”
Funny Quotes
Browse 13923 quotes about Funny.
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Funny Quotes
“You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one”
Source: Radio broadcasts of Will Rogers
“You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.”
“What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.”
Source: Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Harding
“No dog is as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome.”
“We don't want wars even when we win.”
Source: As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister
“With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.”
Source: Will Rogers' World: America's Foremost Political Humorist Comments on the Twenties and Thirties--and Eighties and Nineties
“Give me snuff, whiskey, and Swedes, and I will build a railroad to hell.”
Source: As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister
“Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.”
Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)
Source: As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister
“Zionism and pessimism are not compatible.”
Source: As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister
Source: The Works of John Dryden, Volume XX: Prose 1691-1698 De Arte Graphica and Shorter Works
“There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.”
Source: Will Rogers' World: America's Foremost Political Humorist Comments on the Twenties and Thirties--and Eighties and Nineties
“Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you got me four Grammys.”
“The world's strongest animals are plant eaters. Gorillas, Buffaloes, Elephants and me.”
“My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.”
Source: Beds
“It can't be any simpler: the farewell is going to be on the Champs-Elysees.”
“All music is folk music. I ain't never heard a horse sing a song.”
“If you stay in Beverly Hills too long, you become a Mercedes.”
“In high school, when I played football I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs