Source: Wanderer
Funny Quotes
Browse 13923 quotes about Funny.
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Funny Quotes
“There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.”
“My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark”
“My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.”
“I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.”
“I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.”
“And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.”
“I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.”
“I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.”
“I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.”
“Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?”
“I have a rare form of body dysmorphia in which I absolutely can't stand how good I look.”
Source: Falling Towards England: (Unreliable Memoirs Continued)
“All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.”
Source: CLINGING TO THE WRECKAGE
Source: Curriculum Vitae: A Volume of Autobiography
“In democracy both a deep reverence and a sense of the comic are requisite.”
Source: Home front memo
Source: The Benchley Roundup
Source: The Hippopotamus
“Forever is a very long time, especially the bit towards the end.”
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”