“When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion.”
Funny Quotes
Browse 13923 quotes about Funny.
Related topics
Funny Quotes
“I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph.”
“If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies.”
“I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.”
“I think "immoral" is probably the wrong word to use...I prefer the word "unethical."”
“Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.”
“I find it interesting how we get carried away by the dogma a-la-mode.”
“It was not my class of people. There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor.”
“If you don't dissagree with me, how will I know I'm right?”
“All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium.”
“I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.”
“At present there are such goings-on that everything is at a standstill.”
“I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.”
“An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.”
“Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.”
“Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.”
“I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.”
“If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.”
“Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?”
“Many come to bring their clothes to church rather than themselves.”
“A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.”
“The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.”
“There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.”
“Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.”