“I hope I never get so old I get religious.”
Source: Ingmar Bergman: Interviews
Sarcastic Quotes
Browse 984 quotes about Sarcastic.
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Sarcastic Quotes
“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
“Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.”
“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.”
“A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.”
Source: Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Hoover Years, 1929-1931
Source: Will Rogers' Daily Telegrams: The Hoover years, 1931-1933
“When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.”
“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”
“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.”
Source: The Eyes of the Panther (Cryptofiction Classics - Weird Tales of Strange Creatures)
Source: Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.”
“Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.”
Source: The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”
Source: The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
“Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.”
Source: The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
“Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.”
“The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.”
Source: A Cynic Looks at Life
“Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”
Source: The Devil's Dictionary (or The Cynic's Wordbook: Unabridged with all the Definitions)
“Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
“He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.”
“Science can never solve one problem without raising ten more problems.”
“Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.”
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”
“I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.”
Source: The Collected Works of George Bernard Shaw: Plays, Novels, Articles, Lectures, Letters and Essays: Pygmalion, Mrs. Warren’s Profession, Candida, Arms and The Man, Man and Superman, Caesar and Cleopatra, Androcles And The Lion, The New York Times Articles on War, Memories of Oscar Wilde and more
“It's easier to replace a dead man than a good picture.”
Source: The Collected Works of George Bernard Shaw: Plays, Novels, Articles, Lectures, Letters and Essays: Pygmalion, Mrs. Warren’s Profession, Candida, Arms and The Man, Man and Superman, Caesar and Cleopatra, Androcles And The Lion, The New York Times Articles on War, Memories of Oscar Wilde and more
“Men have to do some awfully mean things to keep up their respectability.”
Source: Fanny's First Play
“Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.”
Source: Wit and Wisdom of Josh Billings [pseud.]: Choice Bits of Fun and Philosophy of the Great Humorist Carefully Collected and Revised
“It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.”
“There are only two ways of telling the complete truth - anonymously and posthumously.”
“Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.”
“The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness.”
Source: The great railway bazaar: by train through Asia
“In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.”
“He [Napoleon] was as great as a man can be without morality.”
“He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style.”
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”