Humorous Quotes
Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.
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Humorous Quotes
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
“You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
“Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.”
“Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”
“If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.”
“Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.”
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
“Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.”
“I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.”
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.”
“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT”
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”
“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
“A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.”
“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
“Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?”